Regret
by Kakashi
Summary: In a world of confusion, sometimes only one escape presents itself. Songfic.


Hiya, Vegeta here. This is my first songfic ever, and focuses on the way of the world, told from Duo Maxwell's POV. I do not own anything from Gundam Wing. I do not own the song "Regret" from Ten Foot Pole, although it is a most excellent song. I highly suggest listening to it.  
  
Rated PG-13 for suicide themes.  
  
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**It's no use trying to make sense, It doesn't matter anyway.  
There's no one worth the pain, No reason left to stay.**  
  
Duo Maxwell looked at the shimmering blue planet below him, and then at the colony above him. Quatre had said it once before... that outer space had lost all reason. He had come here to this place... this spot exactly between the colony and Earth... to do the one thing he could to escape. He was just tired of the pain, tired of frivolous wars and the selfishness of mankind.  
  
**I try to turn it off, Where did the old me go?   
How did I get so far away? I just don't know...*  
  
Duo wondered what would happen when the other Gundam pilots found out about this. They would be surprised, that's for sure. Surprised that the happy-go-lucky Duo Maxwell would ever do something like this. And sure, he used to be happy-go-lucky. But that was before the war... before he learned what life was REALLY like.  
  
**Every act of kindness boils down to lust or greed.   
No one acts from altruism, It all comes down to need**  
  
No one ever did anything out of the goodness of their heart anymore. A starving man is given food just so he'll go away. A person gives a crying child a balloon just to shut the kid up. OZ was created so some people could have both Earth and the colonies run the way they wanted them run. And the Gundam pilots were sent to Earth to fulfill the wishes of someone else.  
  
**There's a monster inside my heart, He tries to tear my world apart.  
There's a demon inside my head, Tells me I'd be better off dead.**  
  
Now sitting here in the cockpit of his beloved Deathscythe, with a gun in his mouth, Duo steeled himself to do what he had come here to do. His eyes closed as he remembered what he had been through his whole life.  
  
**I try to turn it off, get back to positive...  
Don't want to drag you down to the street where I live.**  
  
When he was a street urchin, living off of whatever he managed to steal, Duo had believed that he was invincible. He believed that the pain of the world couldn't reach him, so long as he didn't get caught. Ah, those were happy times...  
  
Duo began to pull the trigger on the weapon in his mouth when his radar began to alert him to an approaching object. Looking at the viewscreen, Duo smiled at the four Gundams approaching him at a high speed. It seems he had spent a little too much time reminiscing... the others must've found his farewell letter at his apartment on L2.  
  
**I try to turn it off, get back to happy days...   
Pull this barrel from my mouth and look for better ways.**   
  
"Duo!" Quatre sounded distressed, "Don't do it! You have so much to live for!"  
  
Duo laughed, his laughter having a hysterical edge to it, "So much to live for? Really, Quatre, do you believe that? We're at the mercy of mankind. We're pawns in a much bigger game. To think, I was a religious person. The fact of the matter is... there is no God. If there was, don't you think He'd have created us a little better than He did? No one does anything for the good of mankind anymore... no one does anything without some underlying reason that benefits themselves."  
  
"That may be true..." Heero's voice replied, almost sadly, "But there's more to it than that, Maxwell... there's always a better way to handle things. I know I'm not one to talk... but you need to think this through. Find a better way to deal with it."  
  
Duo pulled the gun from his mouth and fixed his gaze on the planet below him. Yes... there was always a better way.  
  
**Everything you never tried...**  
  
"Duo?" Heero, for once, sounded confused as Deathscythe began a descent to Earth.  
  
Duo smiled his infamous Shinigami-kamikaze-gonna-blow-something-up smile, pushing his Gundam's systems to the limit, ignoring the warning lights and klaxons in the cockpit warning him of overheating.  
  
**Every time you might have lied...**  
  
"I'll be back... I promise." Duo whispered to the pilots of the other four Gundams.  
  
His viewscreen turned red and finally cut out as he made his entry into Earth's atmosphere. He could no longer hear his comrades screaming for him to come back, could no longer hear Heero screaming his name.  
  
**Every flaw you tried to hide...**  
  
Every one of the Gundam's systems was alerting him to overheating, but Duo paid them no heed. It was just the death of one more imperfect soul...  
  
**Every drop you ever cried...**  
  
Duo looked at the picture he kept in the cockpit, the picture of all five Gundam pilots together. He was giving Wufei and Heero bunny ears and smiling like all was right with the world. A single tear trickled down Duo's cheek.  
  
**Every time you've been denied...**  
  
Did anyone really ever care about him? Had he been able to hear the screams of his fellow Gundam pilots, he might've known that they did. But maybe it was all just for some underlying reason that benefited them.  
  
**Every tear that ever dried...**  
  
Wiping away the tear from his eye, Duo Maxwell drove his Gundam into the heart of the large terran city. His last conscious thought was of how he wanted to do as much damage as possible. After all, he was the one and only Shinigami.  
  
**Everything builds up inside in waves of regret miles wide.** 


End file.
